In the Jungle
by FireNutZuko
Summary: What would happen if Zero, Aido, Kain, Shiki, Kaname, Ichijou, and the Chairman were stranded in a jungle? Based off of Matsuri Hino's sidebars in Volume 3
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! YAY!**

**'Nut': So, I'm sick and I was going through my Vampire Knight volumes and came across M. Hino's sidebar thing that talked about seven VK guys stranded in a jungle. This is based off of her idea. Also, some characters will most likely be majorly OOC.**

* * *

A plane was going over a jungle. Over the PA they told the passengers to grab a parachute and jump off the plan. The seven passengers each grabbed a parachute and jumped off the plane... a few had to be pushed off... anyways... They landed in the middle of the jungle. Each looked around and saw that there were seven different paths.

"Why are we stuck in the middle of a jungle?" A teen aged boy with blond hair and blue eyes asked. He had two of the traits that Hitler loved, so if Hitler had taken over the world, he would've been majorly loved. Even more loved than he currently was.

"If you keep complaining I will put a bullet through your skull, Aido." Another young man yelled. This one had silver hair and lavender eyes. The author highly doubts that people can naturally have lavender eyes, so she figures this guy has contacts.

"Zero, don't threaten the vampires!" A man that was wearing glasses with blond hair in a ponytail and light brown eyes said.

"Shut it Chairman!" The guy named Zero yelled.

"... This is boring..." A guy with dark red hair and gray eyes said, his voice was monotone.

"Shiki, you think every thing's boring. But, since we're stranded here, we can have an adventure." A guy with light blond hair and green eyes said, his voice held an unnatural happiness. The author thinks that he started taking happy pills because his family is psychotic, especially his granddaddy. Aido got annoyed with Ichijou's happiness and marched down one of the paths.

"I'll go after him." A guy with orange hair and amber eyes said, he had a silver earring in his left ear. The guy, Kain, walked down another path.

"... Aido's gone..." A young man with dark brown hair and reddish brown eyes said, the author feared he would come and kill her if she didn't say that, "Finally! He won't stalk me anymore!" He then started to dance down a path.

"Kaname's broken!" The Chairman yelled and ran down a path to get away from the freakishness. The three remaining guys walked down the last three paths.

* * *

**'Nut': Yeah... Aido pry does stalk Kaname and take pictures and sell them on the Internet... Aido's story is next!**


	2. Aido

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my messed up mind!**

**'Nut': Let's see if Aido survives...**

* * *

After walking around for hours, his stomach was growling. He started ooking for food and got caught in vines.

"Stupid vines..." Aido grumbled as he broke them with ice. The blond continued walking and mumbling about how much he hated his life. If the author was there, she would pry say "I hate your life too." The author was originally going to do this much later, but... Aido soon saw a little Mexican girl with a monkey that was wearing... red boots? He blinked a few times before walking over to the two.

"Excuse me, but can you help me get out of here?" Aido asked the child. She opened her backpack and a map jumped out. The map started singing which caused Aido to run away screaming. The girl and the monkey blinked before continuing on their way to go to a mountain or something.

By nightfall, Aido collapsed on the ground from hunger and exhaustion. He refused to even attempt getting up again. Aido soon passed away and ending up in haven. Since he was really bad in life and failed at even really trying to survive in the jungle, he got a wheel as a vehicle. Aido then started crying about how being dead was still as unfair as being alive. He then got sent to hell, which is in Michigan.

* * *

**'Nut': Yes, there IS a Hell, Michigan. Please do not take offense to the whole heaven, vehicle, going to Michigan for complaining thing! It was meant to be funny NOT offensive! Up next is either Kain or Zero... I haven't decided yet...**


	3. Kain

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**'Nut': I refuse to listen to serious music! Anyways... Let's see how Kain does in the jungle...**

* * *

Kain was just roaming around the jungle somehow listening to an iPod he got. He probably stole it from Aido when the idiot wasn't paying attention. Kain wondered why his cousin had "Goofy Goober (ROCK)" from the Spongebob Squarepants Movie on it. He also wondered why there were recordings of Kaname's voice on it... maybe Aido was one of those creepy stalkers.

Kain soon got hungry and started climbing trees to find food. He was like a monkey searching for a banana... unexpectedly, monkeys started throwing coconuts at him. Kain got angry and set the monkeys on fire... killing them... He was happy as he ate the roasted monkeys. Kain didn't even care if they carried diseases... he then began to wonder if vampires could get diseases... oh well, he was stranded anyway, might as well die full then hungry.

Kain then continued to wander around the jungle after eating the monkeys. It then started raining without warning... maybe this was a rain forest... not even the author knows. Well, lightning struck a tree and started falling.

"Oh crap..." Kain said before the tree squashed him like a bug. The author then ran away from Kain's fan girls because they were chasing her like an angry mob would chase someone. Heck, she was even running away from herself. How that's possible will always be a mystery.

* * *

**'Nut': ... Wow... that was quite random... but at least he did better than Aido... for awhile... I know these are turning out to be quite short, but I'm still sick and the brains my fingers have get tired easily. Remember, I don't really control how these things go, it's mainly the music I listen to that controls it... The only two characters I have left to write are Shiki and the Chairman!**


	4. Zero

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! I don't even own this computer I'm typing it on!**

**'Nut': I wonder if Zero will give up within 2 seconds...**

"... Screw this..." Zero said and aimed the barrel of the gun to his head. He pulled the trigger, but, for the sake of this, no bullet came out, "C'mon! Just let me die!" Zero was then forced to continue walking along the path he was on. He wondered why his gun hated him. Zero soon laid down on the ground and fell asleep.

When he woke up, he was being beaten up by a demented look squirrel since there was an acorn in his mouth. Zero spit the acorn out of his mouth and the demented look squirrel chased after it. The squirrel then got trapped in vines and continued trying to get to the acorn. The acorn was then stolen by a bug and the squirrel was sad.

Zero wondered why the jungle was so messed up as he continued walking. He soon found a river... a lake... it was a body of water, okay! Zero figured that if he couldn't shoot himself, he could drown himself. He jumped towards the body of water, but it froze over when his hand got in it.

"This isn't fair!" Zero yelled as he tried getting his hand free. His hand soon got bitten off by a fish... snake... something that was in the water... Zero soon lost a lot of blood and died.

Since he tried committing suicide multiple times, he was sent to Hell, Michigan where he continued trying to kill himself. He was soon sent to the asylum where he would spend the rest of eternity.


	5. Shiki

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**'Nut': Now it's Shiki's turn! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!**

* * *

Shiki was walking along the path he had chosen listening to his iPod and eating pocky... wait... pocky!? How the heck did he get the pocky?!

"Good thing I have a stash in this jungle..." He said and the author's eyes widened. The author really hoped that he forgot where the stash was. Unluckily, Shiki eventually found the stash of pocky he had hidden. It seemed like he was anticipating something like this could happen.

After killing a few animals that were too close to his pocky stash, he happily ate the pocky. He had enough pocky to last him for the rest of his life. The author then went to a corner in her room and cried because she couldn't type up something insane for Shiki.

* * *

**'Nut': Yeah... I actually didn't picture Shiki surviving... my fingers had other ideas though...**


	6. Kaname

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! I only own the fingers that are typing this... I think...**

**'Nut': The Penguins of Madagascar is on! Anyways... Will Kaname survive?**

* * *

Even after a few hours, Kaname was still dancing down the path he had chosen. He soon realized he was hungry and stopped dancing. The pureblood thought for a few minutes before deciding eating worms was his best bet. He was disgusted by the thought, but, if it meant surviving, he would do it.

Kaname then began to dig for worms. When he found some, he pretended they were something else and, with much disgust, put them in his mouth and swallowed them. If you think about it, that isn't very healthy because who knows where they've been! After eating a few more worms, he continued wandering around.

After about five more hours, he found a hotel. Kaname stayed there for the rest of his days.

* * *

**'Nut': ... Kaname had a happy ending even though I dislike him... WHY DID MY FINGERS RIGHT THAT!? WHY!? Also, the worm thing is a joke between a friend and I, yes, we joke about him eating worms.**


	7. Ichijou

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! Not even this music I'm listening to!**

**'Nut': Let's see if Ichijou survives...**

* * *

"I'm lost! I'm lost! I can't find anyone!" Ichijou yelled as he ran around in circles, "Oh! Look! A butterfly!" He exclaimed as he stopped running around in circles and pointed at it. I don't know why, maybe he has ADD or ADHD. The butterfly then got eaten by a frog and Ichijou sniffled at the lose of a butterfly. He soon got over it and continued wandering around.

Ichijou soon heard music and walked towards it. He saw a civilization and started dancing for joy. After dancing, he ran to the civilization.

Not even the author knows what happened to him afterwards. He could've survived or maybe they sacrificed him because he possibly has ADD or ADHD.

* * *

**'Nut': Told ya I don't control what happens in these things. I let my fingers think of everything when I type these things... yeah... they have minds of their own.**


	8. Chairman

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**'Nut': Now it's the Chairman's turn!**

* * *

The Chairman was now skipping down the path he had chosen. He soon found a little Mexican girl and a monkey that wore red boots. Suddenly, a map jumped out of the girl's purple backpack.

"If there's a place you got to go, I'm the one you need to know," It sang, "I'm the Map, I'm the Map, I'm the Map, If there's a place you go to go, I can get you there I bet, I'm the Map." It sang the last part 12 times. How annoying, but the Chairman danced as the map sang.

"I need to get out of this jungle!" The Chairman exclaimed and, after a few moments, the map responded.

"You must first go to the path on your left, then through a cave, and then to the river!" It exclaimed.

"Path on left, through a cave, river!" The little girl repeated. Ugh! Her voice was so annoying! It made the author want to bang her head against a wall and get brain damage!

"Path on left, through a caver, river!" The Chairman and the monkey repeated.

"Thanks guys!" The Chairman said and waved before going to the path on the left. After walking for a few minutes he saw a cave. The Chairman then danced throw the cave like a crazy person. After going through the cave, he soon found a river and a boat. He jumped onto the boat and got out of the jungle. Why he didn't save the other's will always be a mystery.

* * *

**'Nut': It scares me how he got out of the jungle... it REALLY does... if anyone wants me to write about 7 of the Vampire Knight girls being stranded somewhere, just say so in a review and suggest a place (ie: island, forest, desert, etc.)**


End file.
